Expressly Stated
I used to read credit card offers, just in case I cared, but I get so many now that I just open suspected offers to make sure that’s really what they are and then throw them away.
One particular offer last week caught my attention because it was a little heavier than usual, so I examined it more thoroughly and discovered that the usual faux credit card was, instead of just a cheap piece of card stock, an actual refrigerator magnet. Score. I like refrigerator magnets, as long as they’re not the sort that fall whenever I close the freezer door.
As I stepped into my kitchen, I noticed that in the lower-right corner of the magnet it reads, “THIS IS NOT AN ACTUAL CHARGE CARD.” No, really?
Let’s assume for a moment that I think this is an actual charge card. Let’s assume that I just ripped it out of the envelope in my excitement to drive the value of the Dollar ever lower by amassing more consumer debt. Let’s assume I didn’t notice that there is nothing where the back of the card usually has a signature line and a magnetic stripe. Even in this edge case, I’m still going to be skeptical that Your Name Here would ever be issued a line of credit, don’t you think?
Those of you who have worked in retail, please—for the sake of my sanity—assure me that you have never seen anyone try to make a purchase with a refrigerator magnet. Because you haven’t, right?
